


When the Brave and the Nerds Collide

by IronLombax



Category: Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-15 12:15:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 12,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4606419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronLombax/pseuds/IronLombax
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tobias and Eric are both leaving their own faction for Dauntless, but for different reasons. Eric wishes to escape his fate, while Tobias wishes to escape his father. What happens when the two come together? Told from both boys' perspectives. (Eric's not an asshole and there will be Four/Eric so if you're not up for that don't read.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Eric (1)  
My name is Eric. I am in Erudite, but I will transfer to Dauntless today in the Choosing Ceremony in an attempt to escape my fate. I have only one secret. I am a homosexual. My parents do not know, and if they did they would surrender me to the Factionless. In Erudite, homosexuality is not embraced because it is not evolutionarily logical. They say that if one does not have the ability or the will to procreate, they should not exist. But that’s not the main reason I will leave Erudite. When I was ten years old, our faction leader, Jeanine Matthews, came to observe our testing in school one day. When none of the other kids had 100% scores, she payed attention to me. I thought it was a good thing, and so did she. She said that if I stayed in Erudite, we could do great things. After class, she had pulled me aside and talked to me about human nature and how it is our enemy. It didn’t make much sense to me then, but once I turned fifteen and realized I was gay, it clicked that she wanted to eradicate all free-thinking people and create an army she could control. A bunch of people in Erudite began to agree with her, and she would often give speeches at Erudite Headquarters. Only the Erudite were allowed to attend them, of course. These are the reasons I am leaving Erudite. I will choose Dauntless because it is the faction the Aptitude Test gave me as a result. Although I feel I should transfer to Amity because of their accepting atmosphere, I will choose Dauntless because I feel like I will be able to live my life freely there.


	2. Four (2)

Four (2)  
My name is Tobias. I was born in Abnegation, but today at the Choosing Ceremony I will transfer to Dauntless in order to escape my abusive father. My name will not be known there, and I will choose a new one. That will be one of two secrets that I need to keep for the rest of my life. The second is that I am bisexual. The Abnegation do not accept bisexuality, for they feel it is a “greedy and self-serving choice” to be able to love both a man and a woman. Today I will go against my test result of Abnegation to choose Dauntless as my new home. I can be free there. My father won’t be able to abuse me, and I’ll learn to fight. I’ll become athletic and maybe even get a good job once I get through initiation.


	3. Eric (3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry the first two chapters were so short; I'm not really good at introductions.

Eric (3)  
As my family and I walk to the Hub, my dad is going on about how good of a scientist I’m going to be for Jeanine, my mom is agreeing with him, and I’m thinking “You guys know everything, but you don’t know what’s about to happen.” But on the outside, I’m smiling and pretending to agree. In maybe an hour, I’m going to cut my palm open and drip my blood onto burning coals, which will signify my transfer. My parents will be baffled (I never told them my result) and they probably won’t show up on Visiting Day. So for now, I’ll let them be happy. It’s the least I can do. When we reach the building, they instruct me to wait outside in front of the Erudite symbol while my parents go inside and find seats. As usual, the Dauntless are late. They like to make sure everybody knows they’re there. I hear the train and the shouts of Dauntless as they jump off of it and onto the grass, running to their place. They’re rowdy and out of order, while the rest of the Erudite have formed three perfect lines, standing straight up. The doors to the building open, and Abnegation, Amity, Candor, and Erudite walk into the room and take their places quietly. The Dauntless, however, push and shove and shout their way into the room to their designated section of the seating. While Marcus, our leader, goes through his “Today you are adults and you choose your faction” speech, my heart rate speeds up a little bit. Will I actually be able to leave Erudite for Dauntless? It’s definitely what I should do. Jeanine is totally creepy with all her “Human nature is bad” stuff, and I don’t really want to work for her and create an army. My heart is racing by the time Marcus starts calling out the last names of people in reverse alphabetical order. My palms are sweating and I’m gripping the armrests of my chair like it’s the only thing left in the world. Everything goes blank until I hear my last name called. My mom puts her hand on my shoulder and gives me a “You can do this” look. I feel hundreds of eyes on me as I walk down the steps and onto the stage to the five bowls, each containing a different element for each faction. For the Abnegation, gray stones. For the Amity, dirt. For the Candor, glass, and for the Erudite, water. The Dauntless have burning coals. I’m surprised I don’t drop the knife because of all my shaking as I stand in front of the bowls, considering my options once more. When I think I’ve decided, I slice open my hand and hold it over the Erudite bowl. My breath catches in my throat, the hesitation evident in my pained expression, as I know picking Erudite means I'll help Jeanine with her plot. I shake my head and I move my hand over the hot coals and let my blood drip there. I can hear it sizzle for a moment, a thin column of smoke puffs out and that's it, “I'm Dauntless,” I whisper quietly to myself as I grab a bandage to wrap over my cut.  
“Dauntless,” Marcus says, carrying no emotion in his voice. The Dauntless-born kids all scream and shout as I walk off of the stage. I’m practically pulled into their mass, and it fills me with an excitement I’ve never felt before. The excitement of something new. Once the Dauntless have all calmed down, I steal a glance at my parents. My mother is crying into my father’s shoulder, and my father has his arm draped around her. He catches me looking, and man, if looks could kill. They certainly won’t be coming on Visiting Day. I see a few other faction transfers, very few to Dauntless, and everything kind of blurs out for a while. In that time the weight of my decision hits me like a brick. I'm leaving everything I've known behind, and I couldn't be happier and more terrified.  
Then I hear, “It seems those are all the people we have today. Good luck in your new factions, and remember: Faction before blood.” Everyone repeats “Faction before blood,” and then I’m practically dragged out with the Dauntless, all of them running to the train. While we’re running, I see an Abnegation boy who transferred to Dauntless. I’m not entirely sure when he was up, but I wasn’t really paying attention the whole time anyway. But he is kind of cute. I don’t really have time to dwell on that, though, because the Dauntless are climbing the posts that keep the train tracks above street level. “This must be part of their initiation,” I think as I grab hold of one of the posts and start to climb. I’m pleased to find that it’s not all that hard. I make it to the top within thirty seconds, but the cute Abnegation boy seems to be struggling a little bit. He’s the last to be up onto the platform, and he looks like he’s about to puke when he looks down. I can’t worry about that for long, either, because I hear a train coming, and it doesn’t sound or look like it’s slowing down at all. Once the train is about thirty feet away, people start to run along the platform. That’s when I figure out that the train isn’t going to stop for us, so I run too. The Abnegation boy isn’t running yet. When I pass him, I slap his shoulder to call him to attention. After that, he starts running. I look to the left, at the train. I’m running out of platform and train cars, so I’ll have to jump at the next open door. I speed up a little to counter my loss of speed while in the air and jump, grabbing onto the handle that sticks out beside the door. I pull myself in quickly, so the Abnegation boy can jump in as well. He jumps and nearly misses the door altogether. But when he starts to fall off before he can get in, I grab his arm and pull him in.


	4. Four (4)

Four (4)  
“Thanks,” I say to the boy who pulled me into the train.  
“No problem,” he replies. “I’m Eric.” This is the part that kills me. ‘Tobias’ doesn’t come out of my mouth like it did in Abnegation. These are new people, and I haven’t chosen a new name. So I try to act a little Dauntless.  
“You can call me ‘Stiff’ for all I care,” I say nonchalantly.  
“Alright then, Stiff. It’s nice to make your acquaintance,” Eric grins.  
“Is that how you always talk to each other in Erudite?” I joke.  
“Well, usually we have a little bit more to say than greetings. Some of us actually know each other more personally, you know.” We don’t talk much throughout the rest of the train ride to Dauntless. Sometimes I look over at him, while he stares out the window. Sometimes I look at him and I see that he’s looking at me too. I think he’s kind of cute, but he’s probably straight. Everyone knows that Erudite has a negative view on gay people. I can feel the train start to slow down a little, and Dauntless-born kids are standing up. Eric and I stand up, too, to see that rooftops are approaching us quickly. Some of the Dauntless-born kids jump off the train, landing on a roof.  
“Do they expect us to jump?” I ask Eric.  
“Well, since they’re jumping, it seems logical that we need to jump too!” he screams over the wind rushing into the car and the shouts of Dauntless. “Should we jump on three?”  
“On three!” I yell. “One, two, three!” We both start to run at the same time, and I can feel his hand close around mine as we push our legs off the edge of the train, leaping onto the gravel roof. As our legs hit the gravel, he lets go of my hand and stumbles forward, while I fall and roll over onto my back. Eric helps me up, and for the first time I take in his blue eyes. They’re a deep blue, and I love them. They’re deeper than the blue of the ocean in our textbooks at school. But I have to look away as we group with the other Dauntless. A man is standing on the edge of - oh god - a pit that seems to have no end.  
“Welcome to Dauntless,” he says. “You’ve all made it on and off of the train, and now you need to make it into the Dauntless compound. The only way to make it in here is to jump through this hole,” he says. “Now who’s going to be our first jumper this year?” A Dauntless-born with more piercings than I can count steps up onto the ledge. His fellow Dauntless-born cheer him on as he slowly falls backwards and into the void. They applaud as they hear him scream. A few seconds later, another Dauntless goes. After that Dauntless goes, I catch the blue of Eric’s Erudite jacket. He jumps and while he goes down, he whoops and hollers like it’s actually fun. Who would even enjoy heights? People were meant to stay on the ground, otherwise we’d have wings. But soon enough, all the other kids have gone and me and the Dauntless man are the only people left on the roof. Reluctantly, I step onto the ledge, next to the man.   
He kind of startles me when he says, “Hey, I understand this might be hard for you. But you’re Dauntless now, and you’re going to learn how to face this fear eventually. Good luck.” Then he pats me on the shoulder. It was a little harder than a pat, actually, because combined with a gust of wind it forced me to jump into the gaping hole with no bottom.  
But there is a bottom, and I realize that about three seconds after I think I’m dead. I slam into an elastic net that bounces me a few times before I come to rest and someone pulls me off of it and instructs me to go stand with the transfers. Then I see the man who was on the roof come down in a streak of black. He jumps off the net and comes to greet us.  
“My name is Amar,” he says, smiling. “Welcome to Dauntless. You have chosen the craziest faction you’ll ever see. There are two parts to our initiation system: the mental and physical training. During physical training, you’ll be tested on your strength, speed, and agility. You will learn how to shoot guns, throw knives, and take and throw punches. The mental training is a little harder, however. We’re going to put you in what’s called a fear landscape. We will inject you with a serum that stimulates the portion of your brain that processes fear. Our computer will then use that data to construct your worst fears, right in front of you. Once your heart rate slows down enough, you’re out of the sim. If you fail to meet any of the standards set by the time initiation is over, you will become factionless. Any questions?” He seems so lighthearted, talking about things that would make an Amity tremble. Nobody asks any questions. “Alright then,” he says. “Initiates, follow me. We’re going to take a tour of the compound.”  
“Do we have to?” I hear a Dauntless-born complain from the back of the group.  
“Yes we do,” Amar replies coolly. “We have to show the Stiff, the Nose, and the Pansy Cake how Dauntless works.” Coming from Abnegation, I’m a Stiff. Eric is a Nose because he’s an Erudite, and there’s a girl behind us from Amity. She’s the Pansy Cake. There are other transfers, but I’ve never seen them. They must have been on different train cars. Amar is only calling us out because we were the people in the front of the group of transfers. We walk through several hallways until we reach a sort of central hub. “This is the Pit,” Amar says. “This is where you’ll do most of your physical training.” He points upwards, towards a glass building. “That is the Pire. You’ll do your mental training in rooms up there. And now I’ll show you to your sleeping area.” From the looks of the sleeping area he shows us, I can tell this is going to be a really difficult initiation. But this is the faction I chose, so I have to deal with it. And come up with a new name, before ‘Stiff’ is my permanent one.


	5. Eric (5)

Eric (5)  
When Amar leads us into our new quarters, I’m shocked. I’ve never slept on anything but a plush, temperature-customized mattress my entire life. And here they’re giving us cots with thin wool blankets and a pillow.  
“Where are the girls’ quarters?” a former Amity girl asks.  
“Every year we go through this question,” Amar sighs. “You all sleep in the same room until the end of initiation.”  
“Eww,” she replies.  
“Alright, initiates,” Amar says, interrupting a group of rowdy Dauntless-born guys. “Dinner is in a half hour, so come to the cafeteria at that time. For the time being, you should bond with each other or something.” Great. From what I can tell, the Dauntless-born kids are already comfortable and among their friends. It’s rare that Dauntless ever transfer from their faction, and today was no exception. Only one person transferred from Dauntless, and she transferred to Erudite. I shudder, thinking about my old faction and the work Jeanine wanted me to do for her. Then I think of my parents and what they’re probably doing right now. My dad has probably punched at least three holes in the wall, and my mom has probably finished with crying and now hates me. Even though we see acts of anger and violence as illogical in Erudite, there isn’t much we can do to stop our human emotions from getting the best of us at times.  
I sit down on a bed and shrug off my blue jacket; it’s warm enough in here that I don’t need it. All I’m wearing now is a pressed, super-white t-shirt and jeans that I pulled out of my closet this morning. I never wore the spectacles that most Erudite do. For a faction so focused on logic, I guess they never stopped to think that wearing glasses when you don’t need them is illogical. I snicker at the thought.  
While I’m thinking, the girl from Amity that was asking questions earlier sits on a bed across from me and it breaks my concentration. When I look at her, she smiles.  
“I’m Mia,” she says. “What’s your name?”  
“I’m Eric,” I say, standing up and bowing my head to her, the traditional Erudite greeting. She stands up and hugs me, and I hug her back, because that’s the traditional Amity greeting. The Dauntless don’t have an official greeting, other than calling each other names. Mia pulls me from thought yet again, and back into the Dauntless initiate quarters.  
“Do you see that boy over there?” she points to Stiff across the room, standing alone next to the wall.  
“He’s cute,” I say before I can catch myself and filter my words. So much for keeping it a secret. Mia looks shocked for a moment.  
“Are you gay?” she asks, in a low tone, almost like it’s a touchy subject. Which it kind of is, but I guess there’s no point in hiding it now.  
“Yeah, I’m gay. Are you okay with that?” I ask her, leaning in a little closer so nobody can overhear me backflip out of the closet with an accompanying marching band. At least that’s what it feels like. I have this weird feeling in my stomach. The only other time I’ve felt it was after the tests while Jeanine was talking about human nature.  
“Why wouldn’t I be?” she says, taken a little aback. “Oh, right,” she realizes, “You were from Erudite.” I nod. “That must have been horrible,” she continues. I nod again.  
“My parents were extremely against it, too. They used to go on and on about it, nonstop. Some days I felt like my head was going to explode because I knew that if my family knew who I really was, they would hate me.” Mia puts her hand on my shoulder.  
“Why didn’t you choose Amity?”  
“To be honest, I thought about it for a while, but I decided to stick with my test result. That was Dauntless. I also think I can express myself a little more here than in Amity.”  
“You’ll be missing out on tons of music, though,” she grins. “It wasn’t really that fun for me. I don’t like to sing, so I was almost an outcast.” I feign utter shock.  
“An outcast? In Amity, of all factions?” I know from school that even in a faction as happy and gregarious as Amity, people are still outcasted, if only a little bit. “I don’t really know what I’m missing anyway. We don’t listen to much music in Erudite. Supposedly it’s ‘an illogical distraction.’”  
“You guys sure love that word, ‘illogical’, don’t you?”  
“It’s one of our favorite words. I can recall my father used the word approximately 368 times per day.” I pretend to push spectacles up on my nose and stick my nose up, like the Erudite often do, Mia giggles in response.  
I steal a glance over at Stiff, just to see what he’s doing. He’s still leaning against the wall, not talking to anyone. Oh, what I would give to talk to him, or hold his hand, or maybe even… kiss him.  
“He looks lonely,” Mia says, catching me staring at him. “You should go talk to him.”  
“Uh, please don’t make me. What if I say something wrong? What if he doesn’t like me?”  
“Don’t worry,” she says. “You’re supposed to be Dauntless now, remember? If you want, I can help you talk to him.”  
“That would be great, please do,” I say, my hands shaking worse than the earthquakes we read about in school a few months ago. I stand up and start walking slowly over to Stiff. My steps are shaky, and I can’t think of what to say. I’m nervous and I really don’t want to do this. And that’s when I’m saved by the intercom.  
“Initiates, it’s time for dinner. Come to the cafeteria quickly,” Amar says.


	6. Four (6)

Four (6)  
I’m just about to start walking to the cafeteria alone when Eric and the Amity girl from earlier bump into me.  
“Hey! I’m Mia,” she says, just as bubbly as the Amity usually are. I wonder how she got a Dauntless result.  
“Hey, Eric,” I say. His face is a shade of red I’ve never seen before, not even on the apples at the Amity farms.  
“Hey, Stiff,” he squeaks. His body is rigid. I can tell he’s nervous. But about what?  
“Are you nervous about something?” I ask.  
“I was just nervous about the dinner tonight. I thought I’d have nobody to sit with,” he says more smoothly, his face becoming less red. “Do you mind if Mia and I sit with you?”  
“Go ahead,” I say. “I’m open to the possibility of having friends.” And what I say is true. I never had any friends in Abnegation because having my father as a leader kind of set me apart from the group already, but then when the rumors started I was practically invisible. So this will be a new experience for me. I wonder what kind of food they serve here. I never learned that while I was in school, because the day we were supposed to learn the foods of the factions was a day my father had to give a speech. Come to think of it, I missed a lot of school due to my father’s political career. Once when I told him that I wanted to stay in school and skip one of his speeches, he locked me in the closet for a few hours.  
“That’s not very Abnegation of you,” he said when he let me out. Most of his punishments either started or ended with those words, and so I came to despise living in Abnegation.  
“Hey, we should probably get some food,” Eric says, bringing me out of my thoughts. “Hey Stiff, what do you like to eat?”  
“I don’t even know what half these things are,” I say, looking at each item and grabbing some of them.  
“I wouldn’t suggest that,” he warns as I reach the spoon into some small green spheres.  
“Why? Are they poisonous?” I ask, dropping the spoon.  
“No, but they might as well be,” he grins. “Those are peas. They’re disgusting. I’m surprised you haven’t eaten some in Abnegation before. Here, have some of this.” He grabs a knife and cuts a piece out of a brown fluffy thing with a hole in the middle. “Stiff, this is what’s called a chocolate bundt cake. It’s possibly the best kind of cake ever baked.”  
“This is funny, watching you two discuss food,” Mia stifles a laugh from the end of the buffet line. She’s already found us a table, and she sits down. I grab a metal cup of some brownish liquid before I sit down at the table. Eric stands at the edge of the table for a moment before sitting to my left.  
“What’s this thing again?” I say, picking up a piece of meat inside a piece of bread. It has some kind of juices on it and they’re both different colors. Eric accidentally spits out some food onto his tray and laughs.  
“Stiff, that would be a hot dog,” he says. “What I have is called a hamburger. Say it with me. Ham-bur-ger. What did they feed you in Abnegation anyway?”  
“Mostly plain stuff,” I say. “Most nights we would eat a few lettuce leaves and maybe a small portion of chicken from a can.”  
“I can see why you left,” Mia says. “At Amity we have bread as far as the eye can see.”  
“In Erudite, we used to eat nutrition pills and wash it down with a fizzy soda. Actual food was reserved for birthdays, holidays, and perfect test scores,” Eric says. “I’ve only taken the pills on days when we didn’t have a test.”  
“Nerd,” I joke. “I’m going to try your bundt cake now.” I cut a piece off with my fork and look at it for a second. Then I put it in my mouth and it’s like nothing I’ve ever tasted, not even tonight. It’s soft, and light, but it’s also dense at the same time. It tastes like heaven, put simply.  
“Well?” Eric says, sitting on the edge of his seat.  
“That,” I begin, “was the most amazing thing I have ever tasted.”  
Before we can continue our conversation, somebody starts banging on the metal railing above us to get our attention. It doesn’t take very long for everyone to quiet down. I look up at the source of the noise, and Amar is standing up on the railing.  
“Initiates,” he begins. The Dauntless-born cheer for a few seconds. Eric, Mia, and I join in. “Today you have become adults. You chose Dauntless, and so far all of you are still here. Tomorrow we will be waking up at 5 o’clock sharp to begin your initiation process. Meet at the top of the Pire as soon as you get dressed. But don’t be late. Congratulations on choosing Dauntless, and we hope you enjoy it here.” The Dauntless-born start cheering again as Amar jumps off the railing and runs down to sit at his table again. Soon the cafeteria is a riot as Dauntless are throwing their arms up and people are putting other people on their shoulders. It fills me with a feeling I never felt in Abnegation. I’m going to like it in Dauntless, provided I survive the initiation. Not to mention Eric is next to me as we walk back to the initiates’ quarters. That makes me feel a little different than I would have ever let myself feel around another boy a few months or even weeks ago. When we’re back in the area, I realize that I still haven’t chosen a bed for myself. Everyone is starting to lay down on one, but I’m still standing next to Eric. He sits down on the bed he left his jacket on.  
“There’s a bed right there if you still don’t have one,” he yawns and points to one right behind me. It’s right next to his bed. I sit down before I realize there’s a pile of black clothes on my sheets. Eric has noticed his pile of clothes, too. I’ve never taken off my clothes in front of anyone before, much less a group of people. I can feel heat on my cheeks. I’m turning red, but it’s not really visible because I have a leftover tan from the summer working at the Amity farms. Eric, however, is a little more pale than I am and I can see he’s blushing. The Dauntless-born section of the room is just a flurry of clothing as they all change with no shame whatsoever. I look at Eric again, and he’s slowly peeling off his shirt, like he’s never done it before. His expression screams embarrassment as he does it, pulling the shirt over his head before it gets caught on his chin, causing him to roughly twist his head out of the shirt. I take this opportunity to let my eyes glide over his torso, admiring his build before I look up and see Eric staring back at me. I can feel the heat on my face as I look away quickly and start taking my own shirt off. When I get mine off, I see Eric, but his eyes aren't staring into mine, he's mimicking my actions from moments ago. There’s not much to look at; I’m kind of lanky. I’ve never really worked out except for the volunteer work that required physical activity. Eric is even a little more muscular than I am right now. The Erudite are allowed three hours of personal time per day to do almost anything they want. Most of them use the time to study a little if they’re having trouble with something. Other times they use the time to get a workout in. I’ve seen a few Erudite running in their blue jackets before, their spectacles bouncing on their nose. Eric is now fully clothed again, in all black. He looks good in the Dauntless colors. They bring out his eyes more than the Erudite jacket ever did. I realize I’m still shirtless, and I grab the Dauntless shirt and pull it on quickly. Once I’m fully clothed again, I lay down on the cot and stare up at the ceiling, stealing a glance at Eric every so often. Eventually the lights shut off and I fall asleep, my last thought of Eric.


	7. Eric (7)

Eric (7)  
When I wake up in the morning, I panic for a second because I’m in a dark room, wearing strange clothing, and there are other people around me. Then I remember that I transferred to Dauntless yesterday and this will be my life for the next few weeks, at least. Everybody in the room is on their feet, doing something related to getting dressed for the day. Once I get my legs off the edge of the cot, I notice Stiff. He’s sitting up on his cot, tying his new boots.  
“Good morning,” he says, the sleepiness in his voice evident. I’m sleepy too; I’ve never woken up this early before. This is my second day at Dauntless, just beginning. And we’re doing our fear landscapes today. The rest of Dauntless walk to the Pire, and Stiff gets swept up in them before I can walk with him. Mia walks with me instead.  
“Nervous?” she asks.  
“Nervous doesn’t even begin to describe it,” I say. Then I whisper, “Holding Stiff’s hand for comfort would be nice.” Mia giggles in that Amity way of hers.  
“Maybe one day,” she says. “But you’ll never know if you never ask him.”  
“But I’m scared to,” I say. “In fact, it’s probably going to appear in my fear landscape today.”  
“There’s nothing to fear,” she says. “That’s ironic,” I think.  
“I’ve read about the Dauntless fear serum,” I say. “It’s a lot worse than you think. It stimulates the part of your brain that processes fear, and activates each of your worst fears. A few people have died during their landscapes.”  
“I’m sure it’s not that bad,” she continues, her optimistic nature colliding with my cautious one. We walk in silence for the rest of the hike, and sometimes I catch a glimpse of Stiff in the crowd. He looks nervous, too. I find myself wondering what he fears as we arrive in front of the fear landscape room. It looks exactly as it did when we learned about it in the textbooks at school, a barren room with only one door. The walls are reinforced glass, so that people can see what the person in the room is doing.  
“Any volunteers?” I hear Amar ask, snapping me out of my trance. Before I can even think, my hand shoots into the air. Amar puts his hand on my shoulder and guides me into the room. I can’t see outside, but I know everyone is staring at me from the outside.  
“You used to be a Nose, so I assume you know how this works,” he says under his breath, getting things ready.  
“First you’ll inject me with the fear serum, then you’ll sit down at a computer in another room and watch my landscape, making sure nothing goes wrong and that I finish within a reasonable time,” I say, rolling my eyes.  
“Exactly,” he says, walking up behind me and jamming the syringe into my neck. “Good luck.” It’s the last thing I hear before I fall unconscious.  
When I open my eyes, I’m standing on a pedestal in the Dauntless cafeteria. Everyone in the faction is staring at me, and it’s Visiting Day, so several adults from other factions are here as well. Including my parents. There’s something in my head, and I feel like I need to scream it, but I’m too scared. I know exactly what I’m supposed to scream, and my heart is jumping out of my chest. The words I’m supposed to say or scream are: I’m gay. From my schooling, I know that the trick to these simulations is to get your heartbeat as low as possible, tricking the simulation into thinking you’ve calmed down. So I breathe a little bit. I close my eyes for a moment and unclench my hands. Everyone is expecting me to say something, and I can’t let them down. That’s the only way to get through this portion of the sim. The room is completely quiet. Nobody makes a sound.  
“I’m gay,” I say. Even though I said it quietly, it still carries across the room like I screamed it. Everyone sits still for a moment, and then I see smiles break out across the crowd. My parents leave the area, never to be seen again. And just like that, everything morphs. I’m no longer in a cafeteria. My feet are slamming against pavement, and all I can hear is the movement of tiny legs behind me, thousands of them. I already know that I’m being chased by spiders. Wonderful. I’m completely unarmed and the spiders are gaining ground. I have to figure out something to make me calm down and logically remove myself from the situation. And then it hits me. I’m running straight towards the Dauntless train tracks. And there’s a train about a half a mile away. If I can reach it in time, I can jump on and escape the spiders. But I’ll have to climb the stairs first. I can see the headlight of the train clearly by the time I’m halfway up, and I can tell it’s starting to slow down. The spiders are right on my heels, and I’m skipping multiple steps to get to the top of the platform before the train passes. When I get to the top, there are only a few cars left before I miss the train. I start to sprint even harder, jumping at the last possible second and tumbling into the train. My heart slows down again. I have six more fears, each of them worse than the last. When I finally open my eyes, I’m laying on the floor in a cold sweat. Amar walks into the room and helps me up.  
“Dude,” he says, “You have some pretty terrifying fears.” I walk out of the room, shaking a little bit. Mia hugs me as soon as she can.  
“I saw it all on the screen,” she says. “It was terrifying.”  
“Alright, Initiates,” Amar says. “Who’s next?” I see Stiff raise his hand slowly. It’s shaking.


	8. Four (8)

Four (8)  
I don’t really want to talk about my fears and what I went through in the simulation. I’m just telling you that there are four of them. But when I stand up after my last fear finishes off, Amar comes into the room to get me, looking shocked.  
“How long do you think that took you?” he asks  
“Twenty minutes?” I ask, unsure if that’s the correct answer or not.  
“It took you ten. Most people take about twenty minutes and have more than ten fears. You had four.” He grabs me by the shoulders and steers me out of the room, back to the crowd of Dauntless Initiates. The first thing I do is scan for Eric’s face. It’s contorted with some form of angst. But when he looks at me, I can see it relax a little. I wonder what he thinks about me, but I don’t get much time before Amar breaks my thought process.  
“Everyone look at Four here! He only had four freakin’ fears!” The Dauntless, both the non-transfers and the transfers, break into cheer. I have to admit, it feels kind of good. But for now, what I need is rest. I walk to one of the walls, behind everyone, and sit on one of the benches. It would be nice to have a reassuring hug from someone, just to confirm that it all wasn’t real. I look at Eric for a moment; he’s talking to Mia. They’ve probably got something going with each other already, assuming Eric is like the other Erudite. They try to enter logically romantic relationships as soon as they can, so they can “speed up the process of evolution”, as they put it. But anyway, Eric is busy chatting away with Mia. I can tell he still needs something comforting, just by the look on his face. He looks extremely nervous. I can’t really blame him, after what we just went through. I sit down on one of the benches, behind the crowd of Dauntless. Eric is still standing with Mia, and she hugs him again, like she did right after he came out of his fear landscape. Yeah, they’ve definitely got something going on. I think about this until we all head back to our quarters and are given until dinner to do whatever we want, which includes exploring the Dauntless compound.  
I sit down on my bed, the metal frame creaking a little bit under my weight. I take off my black shirt and put on a clean one; the fear landscape induced some sweat, as well as the walk back to our quarters. I watch Eric do the same thing, but instead of laying down, he gets up and leaves the room, with Mia in tow. I can’t stand to admit it, but I feel a pang of jealousy. It doesn’t last long, though, because I fall asleep in about ten minutes.  
I wake up when Amar comes into our room and tells us it’s dinner time. Yawning, I stand up and stretch before heading to the cafeteria with the other Dauntless. I get in line, grab a hamburger, some milk, and a slice of chocolate cake. Then I sit down with Eric and Mia again, and the conversation starts. I hold the hamburger up in front of my face, examining it.  
“Ham-bur-ger,” I joke. Mia laughs, and Eric grins.  
“So,” he says, “Guess I can’t call you ‘Stiff’ anymore, huh?”  
“Call me whatever you want,” I say. “I really don’t care.”  
“Okay then, Four,” he smiles. “Whatever you say.”  
“Nose,” I joke. The rest of dinner is filled with conversation, laughing, and eating several slices of chocolate cake. If there was anything I was going to miss about Dauntless if I didn’t make the cut, it would be the cake (and Eric, of course).  
When we get to our quarters, Amar instructs us to take our old clothes to the fire and burn them. I gladly throw my wooly, scratchy Abnegation clothes and shoes into the fire. Eric seems a little more reluctant. Hell, I would be reluctant to throw my climate controlled, comfortable, self-cleaning jacket into a fire too. But he does, and we all go back to our quarters for the night. I fall asleep shortly after the lights go out again, and fall into a fitful sleep, my dreams turning into the nightmares that were in my fear landscape earlier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry this chapter is so short, but I'm really beginning to get into the stuff that's to come. So as the very final warning, BRACE YOURSELVES FOR A WHOLE LOTTA HOMO.


	9. Eric (9)

Eric (9)  
The days of initiation start to go by in a blur, and pretty soon it’s the last round of eliminations. We’re set up to fight each other as our final test. As it stands, I’m the top of our class, with Four just a few points below me. And I’ve been dreading today since the events of today were announced last week. I have to fight Four. He and I have become close friends over the past few weeks, and the last thing I want to do is hurt him. And he’s told me he doesn’t want to hurt me. Mia is still trying to get me to ask him out, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. I’ve seen him in the gym sometimes, mentoring this girl. I think her name is Shauna. But, anyway, it looks like he likes her. Four has really bulked up during initiation; he’s no longer small and weak like he was to begin with. And neither am I. And as hard as I try, as much as Mia tells me to, I can’t stop worrying about the fight tonight. As much as I’d like to stay in the top position of our initiate class, I still don’t want to hurt Four. Instead of training and getting ready, I spend the day getting ready for the fight.  
And then it’s time to start. I walk, reluctantly, to the floor of the Pit. Four is already down there, talking to Shauna. Mia is in the front of the crowd, giving me a thumbs-up. We both walk to the center of the ring, and I can see a tiny glint of fear in his eyes. But that’s gone as soon as he hits me in the stomach, hard. I retaliate by slamming him in the chest, knocking the breath out of him, but he just doesn’t stop. His eyes are filled with rage, his pupils shrunken to small black dots in the dark blue of his eyes. He tackles me to the floor of the mat, and starts to hit me across the face repeatedly. It’s almost in a perfect rhythm to one of the songs I used to listen to as a child in Erudite. Left, right, left right, left, right. I can no longer feel anything except the blood that’s running out of my broken nose and the cuts around my eyes. Amar has to pull Four off of me. I look up for a moment, and see his rage turn to shock, and then fear. Four’s terrified face is the last thing I see before I black out completely.  
When I wake up, I start a little. The room around me is cold and completely white. I’ve got thin sheets over my body, and my face still feels a little numb. I can’t remember much except getting my ass handed to me by Four. I see an IV in my right arm, and all the instruments seem to indicate that my vitals are all fine. I try to sit up. but I’m hindered by my sore torso. I begin to wonder if there’s anything he didn’t hit before he got pulled off of me. I’m about to fall asleep when I hear a door open. I sit halfway up so I can see who’s entering, and I’m glad I do. Four is standing in the doorway, alone, with his head down. He looks like a dog who just got yelled at for peeing on the carpet.  
“Eric?” he whispers. “Are you awake?”  
“Yeah,” I croak. My voice is raspy and my throat is sore.  
“I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry,” he says. “I honestly didn’t mean to hurt you like I did, and I meant it when I said I didn’t want to hurt you.” His apology sounds sincere. I knew there was something about this boy other than his looks and his friendliness.  
“It’s okay,” I say. “I’m kind of glad you beat me up. I don’t think I could have hurt you.”  
“Are we still friends?” he asks, cautiously.  
“Of course we are, Stiff,” I say, using his old nickname. “How long until I can leave this room?”  
“I think the doctor said another hour.”  
“Good,” I say. Four walks over to the edge of my bed and sits down. We talk for a little while, mainly about the current rankings, the Initiation Ceremony tonight, and then I can leave the infirmary and go change into my own clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: Again, short chapter, I know. I'm sorry, but I just have so many ideas for plot points and I need to write them all and I promise these plot points are going to be longer chapters!


	10. Four (10)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE HOMO BEGINS

Four (10)  
Ater these past couple weeks of getting to know Eric a little better, I realize that I’m probably more interested in him than I should be. And after the fight that put me at the top of our Initiation rankings, I feel so guilty. I really didn’t want to hurt him at all. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he didn’t want to hurt me. But as I walk away from the infirmary and Eric puts on his Dauntless clothes, I feel better. But I also feel nervous. The Initiation Ceremony is in just a few hours, and that’s when our final rankings are officially announced and those of us who made it are now officially members of Dauntless. I can’t get my mind off of Eric, not even when Shauna finds me and invites me to eat a celebratory meal with the rest of us that made it. Although the thing I want to do most is go back to our quarters to think alone, I go to the cafeteria and sit with Shauna and her friend Zeke. They’re always a riot, but I have more fun hanging out with Mia and Eric. Probably because I get to look at Eric’s cobalt eyes, and the way they light up when he laughs. The way his face scrunches up and he throws his head back is just, for lack of a better word, adorable. I’ve begun to think he’s not with Mia, because he never talks about her when he’s with me. It would make things easier for me if he’s not. I’m planning something for us to do where I can sort of tell him about what I feel.  
It’s now an hour before the ceremony is supposed to start, and I’m looking for Eric so I can ask him to hang out later tonight, once everything’s over. But I can’t find him, or Mia. Shauna has no idea where he is either, and she wonders why I’m interested in finding that “worthless Nose idiot”, unless it’s so I can “beat the living shit out of him again”. She leaves to go hang out with Zeke for a while, and I’m alone with my thoughts. I try to go over my plan multiple times, revising what I’m going to say, and planning for possible outcomes of what’s going to happen once I tell him. And then it’s time to go. I’m walking to the cafeteria, where the ceremony is going to be held. I still can’t find Eric or Mia, so I’m assuming they’re either off somewhere else, or already there. It happens to be the latter of the two. The cheering erupts as soon as someone sees me walk through the door, and I manage to spot Eric in the sea of faces. I slowly make my way towards him, weaving in and out of the bodies that are moving wildly around me. When I finally reach him, Amar is at the top of the stairs, banging pots and pans together to quiet us down. His voice booms over us.  
“Fellow Dauntless,” he begins. “Let me just say that I am proud of each and every one of you for making it here today. You’ve gone through absolute hell the past few weeks, and now it’s time to celebrate your Initiation!” The crowd roars for about a minute, then quiets down as Amar begins speaking again. “Alright, for those who haven’t seen the scoreboard yet, these are the final results of who has successfully made it into Dauntless. This order will also determine what kind of job you can pick in a few weeks, so hopefully you’re at the top.” A holographic display pops up behind him, and he steps down from the railing so all of us can see it. My name is at the top, with my last school picture. A gray-faced boy in gray clothing on a gray background. Eric’s name and picture are just below mine, in the second position. He’s wearing a perfectly-tailored blue-and-white jacket, his blonde hair the same as it is now, just a little longer. He’s smiling, but it’s a fake smile. I can tell because it’s in his eyes that something is going on that makes him unhappy. The crowd roars again, and Amar lets them go on for a few minutes, in which Eric and I attempt to congratulate each other in the deafening sound around us. I look at him again, and he’s smiling. Then I see his ears. He’s gotten them pierced, and I have to say, it fits him perfectly. They’re black piercings, and they almost look like small bolts. Can this boy get any more irresistible? When everything finally dies down again, Amar speaks one more time, and this is his shortest speech of the night.  
“LET THERE BE FOOD!”  
Food is now on the tables in the cafeteria, and Eric, Mia, and I all race to our usual table, where there’s so much cake that we can’t even see the tablecloth. There’s some kind of clearish liquid in our cups, and I have no idea what it is. Eric looks at it with his head cocked to the side, picks it up, and downs it in one gulp. Which was, apparently, a mistake.  
“It burns!” he yells, to the laughter of the other Dauntless. It’s alcohol, I think. We weren’t allowed alcohol in Abnegation, because it was a self-serving beverage that distorted the thoughts and mind from the purpose of giving to others. I take a sip out of mine. It’s strong as hell, and I can feel it sliding down the back of my throat, all the way to my stomach, where it leaves a warm feeling. I like that warm feeling. I devour three or four slices of chocolate cake, another cup of alcohol, and I’m on top of the world.  
“Hey Eric?” I ask, a little slurred.  
“Yeah?” he replies, with the same level of slur.  
“Do you wanna take the train around the city with me later?” I ask. Ugh! Stupid mouth, this was not part of the plan!  
“Sure,” he says. At this point I don’t even know if we’ll make it to the train before falling asleep. I decide that water is a good beverage choice for both me and Eric, so i go and get us both glasses of water. Of course, in my drunken state, it’s not an easy task. I keep bumping into Dauntless girls and boys on my way there, and almost break the glasses on the way back. Mia hasn’t even touched her drink yet. We all sit there, Mia going to get us more water when we finish our water, and that sobers us up a little bit. Not completely, but we can walk and talk (almost) normally. Once the other Dauntless start to leave and go to their quarters for the final time before they buy apartments and other things, Eric and I get up to go too. Mia leaves us alone, so she can catch up to one of her friends and talk to her for a while. Eric and I are alone in the hallways of Dauntless, headed to the outside to catch a train.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO FRIGGING HOO GUYS. Now that we're past Initiation, the homo (among other things) can BEGIN!


	11. Eric (11)

Eric (11)  
Four and I walk outside slowly. I’m nervous and excited at the same time. This is the first time anyone has asked me to hang out and leave the Dauntless compound at night. It’s not like we could have before, but we could’ve snuck out. But I’m a little more nervous when Four starts running to the train tracks. He and I are both still drunk, so we’re not full-on sprinting. The air outside is cool, and it feels good rushing against my face. I’ve been thinking about telling Four that I‘m gay, but I’m not entirely sure about it yet. I guess I’ll wait until I see what he’s got in store for us on the train.  
When we finally reach the tracks, jumping on it is almost second nature. Amar made us practice jumping on as part of our training. It got me up to the top five since I was so good at it. But once we’re on the train, there’s an awkward silence as we lean back against the wall. Four never shut the door, so all I can hear to my right is the rush of the wind as the train picks up speed again. Four opens the door on the other side and sits down against the wall in the back of the car, so he can see out of both of them. I get up and sit down next to him, and I feel good. The wind here isn’t so loud, and we can talk to each other. But I can’t come up with anything to say.  
“It’s a beautiful night,” he says. “You can see all the stars, and the moon’s not out.” Why is he so amazingly perfect for me? Astronomy was my favorite study back in Erudite. I always enjoyed learning about the stars and what earlier humans thought was out there. I downloaded so many of the old books from the library, and devoured each and every one of them. Every Faction has their own digital library, except Amity and Abnegation. The libraries were all donated by Erudite shortly after the Faction System was introduced.  
“It really is,” I reply, staring out the open doors and into the sky. “Do you know much about the stars and space?”  
“Not really,” Four says, shaking his head. “My father always kept me out of school on those days, because he was a man of God, not of science.”  
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I tell him. “Astronomy is actually a really fun science. Do you want me to teach you a little about it?”  
“Go ahead,” he says. “Knock me out.” And then he adds: “Not literally, though.”  
“Okay,” I say, walking to the edge of the open door. I swing my legs over the edge and sit down, and Four does the same. His eyes follow my hand as I point towards the first constellation I learned. “Do you see how the stars there arrange to form a sort of big spoon or pan?”  
“Yeah, I can sort of see it,” he says. He’s a little tired. I can sense it in the way his words are slowed and the sound of his voice.  
“That’s called the Big Dipper,” I say. “In ancient Greece, there was a myth about some guy named Hercules who was the son of the god Zeus. Hercules had exceptional strength, and one day he ran into some bears in the woods who ticked him off. He picked up the bigger one, swung it around by its tail, making it longer, and launched it into the stars, where it was immortalized forever as a constellation. There was a second one that he did the same thing to,” I continue. I search for it for a moment, and point to it when I find it. “That one’s the Little Dipper.”  
“Wow,” is what I hear from him. I’m leaning back, resting on my hands now, and Four starts to do the same thing. My right hand touches his left, and both of us jerk away as soon as it happens. I put my hand back down in its original position, and Four hesitates for a moment before putting his back down. My heart is attempting to jump out of my ribcage and off the train, because I want to touch his hand again so bad, and maybe hold it. But before I can do that, I feel a warm, calloused palm on the back of my right hand. Not pushing on it, just kind of resting there. I don’t move, but I steal a glance at Four. His normally tanned face is burning redder than the leaves on the Amity Tree in the fall. I notice that I feel heat on my face, too. When I turn my head, he abruptly takes his hand away, like mine is on fire.  
“I’m- I’m sorry,” he stutters. “If- if you’re not-”  
“It’s fine,” I manage to get out. I stand up and offer my hand to help him up. We move back into the back area of the train car, so we can talk again. It’s also a little warmer here. From what I know, we’ve still got a half hour until the train loops back around to the Dauntless compound. I sit down, leaning my back against the wall, patting the spot next to me. Four sits down, and I halfheartedly reach my right hand out again. Four takes it, interlocking our fingers.  
“I kinda have something to tell you,” I say. “I’m gay.”  
“I’m bisexual,” Four replies. An awkward silence follows for a few moments, and all I can hear is my heart beating, breaking my ribs. All I can feel is the heat on my face and Four’s calloused. rough hand in mine. And I’m fine with that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: ...And here we have our first full-on homo scene. More Eric/Four fluff to come.


	12. Four (12)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MORE HOMO FOUR/ERIC YO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Note: So idk if you guys are getting notifications or emails when I delete/update chapters, but I just added a whole bunch to this one because I'm on break now.

Four (12)  
I don’t fully remember what happened last night, probably because I had so much to drink, but I know that Eric tried to teach me something on the train and we ended up holding hands. That wasn’t quite my goal, and I didn’t mean to tell him like that. But maybe something good will come out of this. I’m too hungover to even think, so I spend a few more hours in bed. I’ve got several hours until I choose my job, apartment, and other things. The other Dauntless are probably all out getting tattooed, pierced, and drinking themselves stupid. I’m alone in the room where we all slept for weeks on end, talking with each other and making friends (as well as enemies). I lay on my left side, pulling my sheets up over my shoulders, and fall back into a deep sleep. I dream one dream, and it’s that I’m holding Eric’s hand and we’re walking through the Dauntless compound together.   
I wake up to someone gently poking my shoulder, and whispering my name repeatedly. I open my eyes and look up. It’s Eric, and only now do I realize the position I’m sleeping in. My pillow is turned sideways, and I’m hugging it. I start, wishing he hadn’t seen me like that. I push the pillow back in its normal position and kick off the covers, swinging my legs over the edge of the cot in one fluid motion.  
“What’s up?” I yawn.  
“You’re going to miss the job selection if you don’t hurry,” he says. Then he picks up my clothes off the floor and tosses them at me. In kicking off the covers, I neglected to remember that I took off everything but my boxers when I went to sleep last night. I pull my pants over my legs, then stand up to get them the rest of the way up. It doesn’t quite work like it should, though, and I end up hopping around on one foot and falling over.  
“Impressive,” Eric says, his eyes rolling. He extends his hand to help me up, and I hesitate for a moment before grabbing it. Once I manage to put my pants on successfully, I throw on the skin-tight black t-shirt they gave me for initiation. Eric starts half-walking, half-running towards the cafeteria, where we’ll be choosing our jobs in ten minutes. He’s surprisingly fast, once I catch up to him.  
“Are you not tired?” I ask.  
“Not really,” he says. “I’ve been up since eight this morning. Do you even know what time it is right now?”  
“No,” I say. “What time is it?”  
“8:50,” he replies, holding his watch up in the dim light of the hallways. We reach the cafeteria, where a crowd of new Dauntless and proud family members are gathered. Since I was the first ranked in initiation, I get to choose my job and apartment first.  
“I want to be an instructor,” I say. “Like Amar. I also want to live there.” I point to an area on the map near the train tracks but a little ways away from the Dauntless compound.  
“Are you sure?” one of the higher-ups asks. “That job doesn’t pay very much, it’s only seasonal, and you have a ranking that says you should be a leader.” I think for a moment. Being a leader would be interesting, but it would mean that I’d have to deal with my father on a regular basis, and I came to Dauntless to avoid him.  
“I’m sure,” I say. Then, on the screen, the word “Instructor” appears next to my name, and there’s cheering and clapping from the crowd. Eric goes next. They really want Eric to be a Dauntless leader, so he gratefully accepts the job, and takes the apartment closest to mine, just a few blocks away. Then, as more people move forward, clapping and cheering, we meld into the crowd. I’m knocked back to my senses when I feel a hand grabbing mine, fingers locking between mine. I look up at Eric, and he smiles. No one can see us holding hands right now, and it’s one of the most liberating feelings I’ve had at Dauntless so far. We wait for some of our friends to choose their careers, and when the crowd finally starts to dissipate, Eric lets go of my hand, so we can still remain a secret. I’m beginning to like him more and more every day. We talk with Mia for a short time. She chose to be a security guard. It almost seems unfitting for her, what with her being so bubbly and all, but it’s her choice and she seems happy with it. The celebration lasts until seven o’clock in the evening. Eventually, Shauna and Zeke make their way over, alcohol on every breath. Zeke has chosen to work in the security camera room, and Shauna is now an instructor, alongside me. But she and Zeke leave, most likely to go make out somewhere or try a new sex position in the chasm or something. Eric and I leave after grabbing more chocolate cake. The older Dauntless give us the key cards to our apartments on the way out, and we start walking to our new homes. The area is beginning its transition from fall to winter, and it’s getting really cold. Since Eric’s apartment is closer than mine, I leave him at his doorstep and begin the lonely walk. Of course, due to Murphy’s Law, when I get to my apartment, the door is missing. Not only that, but I can’t turn the heating on at all. We didn’t even have it that bad in Abnegation. So I begin the trek back to Eric’s place, hoping that he’ll let me stay the night. I’ll get my door and heating fixed in the morning. When I knock on his door, he’s got a blanket draped around him. I get the chills up my spine as a blast of warm air hits me from his doorway.  
“Is something wrong?” he asks.  
“The heating in my place isn’t working,” I say. “The door is also missing.”  
“Tough,” he says. “You’re here, so do you want to stay here for the night? You’re always welcome if you want to.”  
“That would be amazing,” I say. “If you wouldn’t mind.” He steps to the side and invites me into the room. Once I’m inside, he shuts and locks the door. Then he has me sit down on the couch.  
“Can I get you something? Coffee? Whiskey?” he asks.  
“Do you have any water?” I ask. “I’m kind of in the mood to go to bed at this point.”  
“Oh, yeah, of course. Here you go,” he tosses two bottles of water at me. “Do you like music?” he asks, sitting down on the couch next to me.  
“From what I’ve heard at Amity, yeah,” I reply.  
“I’ve actually got some different stuff,” he says, grinning.  
“How? I thought everything got destroyed in the wars.”  
“They lied,” he says. “There used to be this thing called the Internet, and it was global. I figured out how to access it years ago, and I downloaded a bunch of old music from it.”  
“So, just how old is the music?” I ask.  
“Just shy of a couple hundred years,” Eric replies nonchalantly.  
“Play it,” I say, “I want to hear it.” So Eric goes into another room and brings out a small, rectangular device. A music player. He must’ve bought it with some of the credits the Dauntless gave us to start off with.   
He’s silent for a minute, and then he breathes a quick “Aha!” before tapping the screen and putting it down on a small table. Suddenly the room is filled with music, music unlike any I’ve ever heard. It sounds nothing like the music they play at Amity. Finally, a man’s voice comes into the mix, shadowed by the voice of a woman. They’re in perfect harmony.  
“I know I stand in line, but do you think you have the time to spend an evening with me? And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there’s a chance you won’t be leaving with me. Then afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two, and then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you.”  
Eric sits down next to me on the sofa and waits for a minute or so before leaning his head against my shoulder. In this moment, I want to live forever. Sitting in Eric’s apartment, listening to old music, with him sitting next to me. When the song finally ends, Eric gets up again to get the music player.  
“How did you like it?” he asks, returning to the couch and resting his head on my shoulder again.  
“I loved it,” I say. I adjust my own position on the sofa and lay down, and Eric wraps his arms around my torso, resting his head on my chest now. Slowly, listening to his breathing, I fall asleep on the couch with my arms around him.


	13. Eric (13)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eric and Four are on the roof looking at the stars.

When I wake up in the morning, I’m in my own bed with the covers tucked around me. I look at the clock I bought yesterday with some of my credits, and it’s already noon. I haven’t slept this late since last summer, when I was on break from school. I stretch for a few seconds, then get out of bed and stretch again. The worn carpet floor is cold against my feet, so I make it the first objective of the day to get dressed. I realize how much I miss the technology in Erudite when I have to make my own breakfast and open all the doors I want to go through. While I’m chewing on a piece of toast with my head in my hands and elbows on the table, I wonder what Four is doing. Then I remember he’s probably fixing his door and heating. After I turn on my music, download a few new-old songs, and become fully awake, I go outside. I promptly come back inside when I realize that I’m going to need a jacket. I grab my old Erudite jacket, which is the only thing I have that’s warm enough for today’s weather and go outside again, shoving a new pair of headphones into my ears. I lock the door and walk down the stairs, heading to where Four told me his apartment was. I start playing my music, and walking just doesn’t feel right, so I take off running. I get there within the next ten minutes, and I can see Four hauling a rather large and heavy-looking door up the stairs to his empty doorway. He sets it down for a moment to wipe sweat off his forehead, then picks it up again. I walk up the stairs behind it, then get on the other side and grab hold, taking some of the weight off of Four.  
“Guess who?” I say.  
“Thanks,” he grunts as we finally make it to the top of the stairs. He sets the door down again and looks at the doorway, then back at the door. “This should be easy,” Four says, “If we work together. You take the bottom, and I’ll take the top. We have to line it up exactly with those hinges, and then the rest should work itself out.” I grab the bottom of the door, and Four starts to lift the top up, walking backwards slowly into his apartment. A few seconds and heavy grunts later, the door is in place and Four is screwing the hinges into place. Suddenly the door swings open in front of me, and I have to step backwards to avoid being knocked sideways down the stairs. I step into the living room, and he closes the door behind me. All of the lights come on, and Four is headed towards another room carrying a tool box, so I follow him.   
“Still haven’t fixed your heat yet?” I ask.  
“Nope,” he replies. “This is going to be hard.” He opens a box in the side of the wall and sets the covering on the floor. Inside, there’s a mess of wires, dust, and even a dead rat. I look away from the dead rat, because that was also one of my fears in the simulations. Four calmly grabs it by the tail, opens the window next to him, and tosses it out onto the ground three stories below. He refocuses on the heating console and tries to make sense of the wiring.  
“Why can’t this be a fucking computer?” he curses, kicking the wall softly so as not to leave a hole in it. “I know everything about working computers, but this one thing just has to be a damned wiring issue.”  
Seven hours, another jacket, a trip to the Merciless Mart, and an entire dictionary of foul language later, the heater finally kicks on in Four’s apartment.  
“Yes!” he screams, pumping his fist. He puts the door to the console back and screws it in tightly, walking out of the room to sit down on his couch. I sit down next to him, and the room is getting warm now, so I take off my jacket. Four wraps his arm around my shoulder, bringing me into him. “I have an idea,” he says, his voice low and soft.  
“And what would that be?” I ask.  
“There’s a ladder to the roof. If you don’t mind putting your jacket back on, we can go up and look at the stars.” I grab my jacket and put it back on, and Four does the same with his own. I walk outside and see the ladder, so I climb it and sit down on the roof, waiting for Four. When he gets up onto the roof, he lies down on his back. I lie down next to him, and his warm fingers lock into mine.  
It’s quiet in the city. All of the lights have been shut off, except for the main buildings of each faction and the streetlights, making it a perfect night for stargazing. All I can hear is the sound of our breathing as I look up into the stars. I feel like my hand fits perfectly into Four’s, and I turn my head to look at him. His eyes are still scanning, and then suddenly they focus on an area of the sky. His grip on my hand tightens a little, but I don’t mind. He turns his head to face me and then pulls both of our hands up, pointing his at a star cluster in the sky.  
“See that?” He asks, looking at me to make sure I’m seeing it. Like a kid.  
“I see it,” I say. “What about it?”  
“I think that’s my favorite group of stars.”  
“They’re very bright. See the one near the cluster? The one that has a bit of a yellow tint on it? That’s my favorite star. Its name is Arcturus.” I can feel Four’s weight shift a little on the roof as he lets go of my hand to sit up. Then he stands.  
“I think it’s time to go inside,” he says. “I’m starting to freeze through my jacket.”  
“Me too,” I say as he extends his hand to help me up. We’re still standing next to each other in the dark. Then, unexpectedly, Four wraps his hand around my back and pulls me closer to him. His hand slides slowly up the back of my jacket and then cradles the back of my neck. It’s still warm from when I had his hand in mine. I look into his eyes as he pulls me even closer and we share our first kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD I SUCK AT UPDATING  
> I AM SO SORRY  
> I'M TRYING I REALLY AM  
> NEXT TIME I WRITE A FIC I'M WRITING THE WHOLE THING AND THEN PUBLISHING IT


End file.
